Y.

Continuo a sentir coisas.
...

Why don't I just say it!? Is that so hard (how idiot is this question)?! I think things would be so much easier. Of course there is a world outside, but I would... I could actually be fine with myself.
The 'possibility thing' is what frightens me the most. Because this is what it is: a possibility of being happy and great (or fine, at least) with my thoughts. This other side is the one which scaries me. I mean, what if get more and more sad, depressive and lonely than I already am?
I'm not saying I am alone, but lonely. I have friends and a family which loves me with no doubts. But the fact is I feel extremely bad with those things. What would happen if the things get 'less greater'? I wouldn't, certainly, suicide (just answering a question from my mom), but I would get terribly upset. Months or years of depression... locked in my room, like I was left alone in darkness, crying every time I remembered or watched something with any kind of relation with my life.

Oh, damn. There are people who think this is a "bad behaviour" when we... I actually like... love it.